haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
