your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
