I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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