i think i have herpe
just one?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
