By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
