Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize