Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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