In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
