yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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