I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
