you mean i was at the winter classic?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
