i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
