so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
