she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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