I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
