I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
