I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
