sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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