Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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