I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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