Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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