Porn is love you can see.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
