I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
