Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So much Jack, so little girl.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
