His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
