fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
