Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
