if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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