Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I will be naked everywhere
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
