Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
