Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
operation have a gay friend backfired
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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