Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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