READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize