Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize