we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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