think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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