Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
3 2 1 whiskey
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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