And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
