if i can run in heels then i can drive
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
