Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"

(1-864): View more from South Carolina

as in "white"?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline

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(816): View more from Missouri

And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.

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(256): View more from Alabama

He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.

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(509): View more from Washington

I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg

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(806): View more from Texas

He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out

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(713): View more from Texas

I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?

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(727): View more from Florida

So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.

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