ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
