He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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