Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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