at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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