I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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