she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize