the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
