you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
