On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
