Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
