Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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