There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
