I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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