To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Randomize
