it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
