you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
