Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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