Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
