I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
