The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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